Time is Patience

Time is Patience

"The two most powerful warriors are patience and time." ~ Leo Tolstoy

One of the most valuable supports for Rylee is time, but this requires a great deal of patience on my part. After reflecting on this important component to supporting Angelman individuals, I created this acrostic poem. This poem encompasses a variety of educational strategies that enable us to value the contributions our loved ones can make when provided with the opportunity to do so. These methods are inviting and respectful while never enforcing compliance. They foster student-centered learning as opposed to being teacher-directed. Providing enough time allows our kids to coordinate their bodies to respond and interact with others. 

When Rylee first began writing with an alternative pencil, it would take her several hours to select a few letters. She would pick a letter or two and walk away. Some of her writing pieces would even take several days. I would often do a sink of dishes, a load of laundry, and on a few occasions, we’d get haircuts during these long waiting periods. I would remind her during the break what topic she chose to write about and what she had written already, then I’d tell her to keep thinking about what she wanted to write next.  I learned the value behind this concept of time from her communication journey with PODD. Each time I modeled her AAC, she would walk away. She did this for 7 months of my modeling until one day she approached it and used it for the first time.

I learned that walking away was essential because of her neurobiology. I learned that she needed to walk away to hear what I was saying, because she couldn’t simultaneously focus both visually and auditorily. Prior to a comprehensive AAC system, we used the phrase, “Rylee, you have to look” when we employed ABA methods. Each time we said that and forced her to look, her hearing would turn off and her brain would ‘bog down.’ In fact, the theories in which ABA is grounded in just exacerbate many of the significant challenges Rylee faces every day. ABA intensifies dyspraxia, apraxia, and auditory processing disorder. Therefore, we need an approach that respects neurodiversity. Below you will find a few of the methods that embrace this level of reverence.

THINK ALOUDS

A think aloud is a modeling strategy in which you speak your thought process out loud. This facilitates the development of a student’s inner voice, which plays a vital role in cognitive and language development. It would look something like this:  

When modeling writing the word ‘fun’ with an alternative pencil, you would think out loud by saying… “I’m wanting to write the word fun. I need the letter F that says ‘fuh, fuh, fuh for Fffffffun (emphasizing the f sound).’ I’m looking…I’m looking. Let me know if you find it. *expectant pause* Oh, there it is.” This can be used for a wide range of activities, but this is just one example.

INCORPORATING INTERESTS

Student-centered learning revolves around developing the learner’s interests. Embedding interests into the student’s learning also fosters intrinsic motivation. Rylee would much rather write about a personal experience such as a trip to Florida, than write about something she is uninterested in such as the newest NFL MVP. Interests can be incorporated into communication and literacy experiences using a remnant book as a self-selected topic.

MODELING AAC/WRITING

Modeling language and writing are very powerful strategies for our kids. The trick is to allow our kids to do what they need when we model, even if we suspect they are disinterested. If I never allowed Rylee to walk away from my modeling, she would never have progressed forward in her communication and literacy development. I never would have learned that she needs to move to think clearly. I purposefully continued to model despite my strong desire to give up because I thought she hated it. Rylee preferred to flip through the book on her own. She used this time with the book to figure out what she had heard me say each time she had walked away. I sure wish I had known that when I started modeling her PODD.

Over time I learned to redefine what active listening ‘looked’ like for Rylee. For the neuro-majority, typically they make direct eye contact, they are still, they are quiet, and they give their undivided attention to another person. That is the direct opposite of what active listening looks like for Rylee. For Rylee, active listening means she is moving, she has her hands busy with fidgets, and her vision is occupied on something else other than what she is listening to. This was one of the most treasured things I have learned about Rylee because it positively impacted our entire family structure. In fact, Rylee reads by using her vision on something else such as watching TV and engaging her hands with fidgets. Once I understood how Rylee functions, I merged that understanding in everything we do as a family.

EXPECTANT PAUSE

An expectant pause is something we can do to encourage participation without forcing it. To give an expectant pause during a conversation, you might model an opinion of something and then wait with an expectant look between the AAC device and the user. This sends the message that their turn is encouraged, but it’s also okay if they don’t participate either. If they don’t take a turn, you just continue as you were. You will see how I added an expectant pause right into the think aloud example above.

These are all strategies we can do while we offer adequate time for our kids to process, organize, and act. Respecting neurodiversity builds trust and strengthens relationships which is what these methods aim to do. Also, exceptional students do not require content that is drastically different from their peers. These guiding principles can be used to help all students learn and develop in the general education curriculum.